Protected: Letter to Myself 1

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The Past Haunts

i can’t imagine myself going clubbing anymore.Though it was a year ago since the last clubbing session. and I’ve only went clubbing for …. less than 10 times ??

i feel very … stupid. when i imagine myself dancing to the music played. bobbing my head up and down. shaking my head. like some drunket .Me dancing is terrible enough. i wonder how i looked when i’m at the club with all those out of the norm moves. errrr…. don’t think its a pretty sight.

yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. shit. i hope my friends weren’t grossed out by me. die. so embarassed just thinking of it .

*self-slap left and right side of face*

MEMO TO SELF: No more clubbing.

next time , if i ever go clubbing , i’m going to just sit and sip on cranberry juice .

YES, cranberry JUICE. not alcohol.

20%

Somebody told me the 20% and 80% rule .

There are somethings you need to do that will seem like a waste of time . Somethings the 80% will think as burdens and barriers .

Yes , it may be troublesome , it may seem that it’s taking you away from getting through medical school .

But , it is going to help you rise up the hierarchy in future .

If you can look pass what lies in front of you , and focus on what lies ahead , you are a champion in the making .

Everyone around you will pressure you . They will say that you are wasting your time on the unnecessary .

But you must say no . Stand firm . Persevere . Look pass the pebbles and rocks that hinder your path . Go around them and walk straight on .

The road is bumpy . You’ll be slow . It’ll be an uncomfortable path . You’ll feel dizzy , confused at times on which path to take .

But , if you can focus on your destination and  if you have the passion to reach where you want to be . If you can just keep tying knots when you reach the end of the rope and continue to hang in there .

Congratulations .

You’ll get there .

So , be different . Be the 20% .

Memo To Self 1

I will not spend so much money on crazily expensive Thalgo cleansers , toners , moisturisers , and sunblock  ever again .

I will not spend so much money on clothes that i won’t wear ever again .

I will not spend so much money on supplements ( besides multivitamins ) ever again .

I will not  spend so much money on make up that i hardly use ever again .

I will not spend so much money on facials ever again .

I must never ever have a savings account of  - RM 2000 ever again . ( the negative sign means i was suppose to have another RM 2000 in my savings account , but i accidentally spent it . Oops . =(

I’mma dumbass who don’t think wisely before i spending.

Most important Memo-to-self : Learn to say ” NO ” !

Kudos to you , my friend .

My friend ,it has been some time since we last met in Tampin . It was good to know that you are in a relationship . And that you’ve found a girl that you truly love so much .

I salute you . Because you love her .

Your love so true . I’m happy for her because she has you .

I salute you . Because of the things you’ve done for her , the ways you pamper her .

Journey from Melaka Ayer Keroh to Seremban sure ain’t easy . From your hostel to the bus stop to Melaka Sentral and to Seremban , you did not hesitate , you did not wince , you did not complain . That just explains the dept of your love for her .

Thank you for the wishes and advices . I truly appreciate it .  I would always remember them and keep them close to my heart  .

It must be tough because her family looks down upon you . So , my advice to you …. Prove them wrong  . Show them that you are so much more than what they think . Nursing is just as good and  as respectable a career as a doctors career . So , don’t look down on yourself at all , cause that would mean that you’ve lost the battle . You would definitely do great things in life .

If  her parents disapprove your relationship with their daughter , all i can say is that they would be making the largest mistake ever .

i wish you the very best . You’ve made my day .

I Love Running

I enjoy running . It is some sort of medication for my soul . It never fails to lift me up .

Only recently , i experienced running as a form of torture .

I just came back from Road Relay competition which involved running 2.9km . Each team consist of 5 people . 3 guys and 2 girls .

Flashes of what happened just now is running through my head now .

First runner from our team sped off . He was fast . But others were faster . We were 4th .

2nd runner received the baton . We managed to catch up . We were near 3rd .

3rd runner threw his leg forward the furthest he could . And we were 3rd .

I was the 4th runner . With the baton in my hand , i ran as fast as my fat leg brought me . Up the first slope . I see the runner of the next team just a bit ahead of me … The team which was leading ( no.1 ) was no where in sight . Sigh . How long till i see her ? I thought . And i continued running but at a more comfortable pace .

“I can do this . I can do this . Don’t stop .She’s just a few steps away. Don’t stop . Speed up .” I kept repeating to myself . After the checkpoint , i passed the girl who was ahead of me . On down , one more to go . I could hear See Wei cheering for Taurus ( our team ) . ” Time to hit 4th gear “. From then on . My head was totally blank .It was dark . I couldn’t see where i was running . My muscles were filled with lactic acid . I’m 2nd now . I came to a curb . Roshnee and Cyril ( my team mates who were there as marshals ) were there . They came close to me . I heard them cheering . ” Come on Shi Yi . You can do it Shi Yi ” I heard Roshnee’s voice . I heard Cyril’s voice . I passed the curb . And i saw my opponent . I could see that she was struggling . So was I . I felt like stopping . I really really did wanted to stop . But i couldn’t . ” Its just that bit further . Overtake her . Mess with her confidence . ” All kinds of strategies suddenly flooded my mind .

I reached the slopes . ” Open stride . Open stride . ” A Tip from Jia Wei ( my team mate ) before the run started . First slope accomplished . A 100 meter flat road ahead . Then came the 2nd slope down . I was closer to her now . Just a few faster and bigger strides , and i’ll be ahead of her . When should i pass her ? Would i be sprinting too early to the finish line . ” SPRINT and go ALL OUT from the sign board . ” Another tip from Jia Wei before the run . And i passed my opponent .

I felt my heart pumping so hard . “PUSH ON. Just a little more ” The finish line was in sight . I had to tell myself that . Even though , it felt so far away . ” She’s catching up . She’s catching up . All out now ”

I sprinted the last 100meters . And it was then . I felt like crying . I really wanted to stop . It was such a terrible feeling . Painful . A torture . But , how could i stop when i was so near the finish line . “Come on , Come on ” i repeated in my mind . I breathed so hard , I think a few leaves actually flew off the ground . After a few more breath , i was sounding out the words ” come on, come on ” when i exhaled. I wonder if anyone heard me .

I saw Jia Wei waiting with his palms stretched out to me . He was ready to speed off as the last runner of our team . I picked my legs up for the last time . Pushed my muscles to the maximum . Placed the baton in his palms . There … My battle was over .

We were leading for that few moments till the last runner of the other team caught up . We came in 2nd . It was just 10 seconds difference . But , i was really happy . Happy that i pushed myself .

I really needed to get my thoughts here . . . Its been quite some time since i pushed myself that hard . All thanks to running . I now know i can achieve my goals if i pushed myself hard enough. It just takes a little bit of determination and endurance . And if you could endure that few moments of pain until the very end . You are a winner .

I need to remember this

Q1
Why do you need a scholarship ?

Ans
I need this scholarship because i want to lighten my parents burden . I need a scholarship because medical school is very expensive . Especially in IMU . One semester in phase 1 cost RM 28600 . And phase 2 RM 30000 . All together , a medical course in IMU would cost RM 380000 . All these exclude accommodation and food . Adding to that , medical books are very expensive . One text book cost more than RM 100 .
I have 3 more siblings who needs support in their education . One of my brother is also pursuing a medical career in Russia and the fees is also very costly .
I have a younger sister who needs support in her studies too .
Adding to that , my grandparents both maternal and paternal side , are ill . My grandfather is undergoing chemotherapy for colon cancer . His medication reaches a RM 1000 per month. My parents are working their best to support us in our studies and my grandparents . I love my parents for their sacrifice and hard work .To be able to complete my studies and be a successful person is one way to repay. And this scholarship is what i need to be able to complete my studies .

Q2 Why do you deserve this scholarship more than anyone else ?

Ans
Because I really need it . I’m hardworking and determined . I’m doing well in my studies . I’m good at sports and I’m active in co-curricular activities . Adding to that , I would make a good representative of a Yayasan Tunku Abdul Rahman scholar . Above all that , because I’m honest and myself .

Q3 What makes you different from anyone else ?

Ans
I have a intense drive inside of me . This drive gives me the ability to reach for the goals and dreams and even the unreachable . If you asked me a question , and i didn’t know the answer to it , i would tell you i don’t know . But i bet you that i know how to find the answers . And i will find the answers . That determination makes me stand out from the rest .

Q4 Why do you choose a certain field of study?
I choose medicine because i want to serve the community .And i feel that healing is the best way to serve the community . Its not about the money earned . Its not about the title in front of my name . Its about helping others by trying to relieve their pain . And bringing back that smile on their faces . Knowing that I made a difference in a person’s life gives me satisfaction .

***Update : They didn’t ask any of those questions today . Instead , they asked :

1) Do you know the meaning of selective
2) Do you know the meaning of exclusive
3) Do you know why Bahasa Malaysia is so important

zzz … i can wave goodbye to the scholarship already .

Out of 200 + they selected 70 for interview . Out of 70 they’ll pick 7 for a camp . Out of 7 , they’ll pick 3 students for scholarship . Out of 3 of them , they’ll pick 1 medical student .

Impossible … plus i screwed all the questions they asked me

I am different

We humans are as different as ” heads” and ” tails” of a coin .

I think of myself as a person , firm on my own believes .

I don’t change to impress .

I don’t sweet talk to have someone like me .

I don’t care what anybody thinks of me for what i said , for what i did , for what I thought .

My mind works according to my believes and my pleasure .

No matter how dull what I do , might sound .

I enjoy what I do . Every part of it .

I have no regards to others if i believe what I do is right .

I am cold blooded .

Try to change me . You will fail .

Personality Tests

I did the personality tests on Alexander’s post . I find parts of analysis quite accurate and true . Here’s just part of the analysis .

How true does it depict me ?

I don’t know . But , It makes me feel dam good being me

These aren’t the analysis for the first test . Its the ones for next test following the first test .

Here is the analysis:

1. You’ve got great self-confidence and you’re full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

2. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up–it’s okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.

I totally , absolutely , 100% trust these statements . Hehe .

Who wouldn’t ?

Mindmap software for free !

I found a site which enables you to download and install a mindmap software for free .

The mindmap software helps you make mindmaps and its user friendly .

I spent the whole day playing and making stupid mindmaps . But , it was fun some how .

Very ” bo liao ” ho …

It might be useful for those of you who believe in mindmaps .